5:00pm arrived like a welcome guest; my mother would comment , “your father will be home soon,” and she began to get drinks ready as a her evening ritual. My mother was a vodka fan; mixing it with anything although Pepsi was the mixer of choice.
My father enjoyed Gin in the summer and Scotch all the time. And prepared simply…Martinis, G&T and Gimlets. Scotch was neat or on the rocks.
Arriving home from the Big Apple, my mother met my father, at the door most evenings, with a drink in hand. Children left the room and my parents would catch up on the day. Sometimes neighbors would drop over and join them. Nibbles were aplenty; mostly peanuts, cheese and crackers. My mother was an amazing cook but nibbles, during cocktail hour, were there just to stave off hunger or getting completely hammered. Nothing more.
As time went on, this disintegrated into “Time to have a drink” in the house. No celebration or fanfare.
Other people have told me similar stories. I suspect it’s my age group that lived this. However, it hasn’t continued in my house.
As an adult, I had hoped that this might be a part of my day. But I hadn’t counted on the big differences between my life and my mother’s.
Working professionally, unlike my mother, and generally more engaged with running my household and taking care of my family, placed larger demands on my time and energy, leaving little of both at the end of the day for anything that wasn’t completely necessary. You really can’t have it all, no matter what anyone tells you.
She played tennis or paddle, worked as a volunteer at the elementary school, hung out with her friends at the pool, however the true difference is my mother placed a large focus on her own interests, sometimes at the cost of keeping home & taking care of kids. I’m not sure this was all wrong-I wish that I had focused more on myself along the way…
Since I was getting home from the office around 7pm, cocktail hour had completely passed. And because I was up again at 5:30am with a small child, the thought of a hangover kept me from drinking during cooking & dinner. Mostly I was just too tired to begin anything than the nightly routine.
So I ask you-why have we forgone this way of relaxing at the end of the day, catching up with our mates and friends? Are we not making enough time to enjoy the days and spending too much time just trying to get through it?